DirtySurfaceWarning: Some Sexual Side Effects

Nothing's identically possible for all people of any group. I'm sure there are women for whom fisting absolutely wouldn't/couldn't physically work, but I suspect they're rare. As with buttsex, lube, patience, trust and experience seem the core requirements. Whether something's physically possible is not the only concern, though. It's sex- if it's not mutually desired, it shouldn't be happening.

All fists are not equal. My Toronto buddy J has such tiny hands that she's often all the way in before the person she's with knows it's happening. For those of us with average-to-broad paws it takes a little longer.

The actuality of what people call fisting is usually about slowly working an open hand in sideways or on a diagonal and waiting or playing that way for a while. As the person taking the hand relaxes and gets more excited, the deeper part of their vagina may open up enough to allow more wiggle room for fingers. If that happens, the fister can start slowly closing fingers, then moving the closed fist inside as much or as little as the fistee desires. Often just the fullness and pressure of a near-static hand are enough. Sometimes people can get to a point where they're relaxed enough and excited enough about the idea that pulling an entire closed fist all the way in and out of their cunt is possible, and I've seen/done "punch-fucking" on occasion, but usually you keep your hand in and move it a few inches. Pulling pleases some people as much or more than pushing, and impact at the far end of a thrust is not usually the point. Go carefully, check in along the way, and be extra careful to trim, clean and file smooth your nails beforehand. As with buttsex, I try to quit before the person taking it feels any discomfort. It's the show-business aphorism: Always leave 'em wanting more.

Some people find the slick surface of medical exam gloves help, some don't. Either way, gloves are the most obvious way to reduce infections and the exchange of things you don't want to exchange. Especially f there are ANY cuts, sores, abrasions, chapped skin, etc on fister or fistee, please wrap it up.

Lube and lots of it definitely helps. (There's no such thing as "too much lube". Water-based lubes without glycerin are generally the safest and the easiest to wash away, least likely to lead to infections or irritation. Though I'm fond of food oils, oils and oil-based lubricants can break down latex products like cervical caps, gloves or condoms, and oil residue can become a health risk of its own. Silicone-based lubes last longer than most water-based lubes, are OK with latex products but not OK with silicone sex toys, may cause irritation and can be hard to remove.)

People protect ourselves consciously and unconsciously by tightening against anticipated pain. Getting a potential fistee to the point of relaxing enough to accommodate a hand is mostly about A) warming up physically in a way that's all about pleasure and not heavily goal-oriented and B) them mentally relaxing about concerns it's gonna hurt or cause damage. I've had the best results building someone up gradually over a few sessions to the point of them realizing that it's possible. (Sometimes weeks, months, or years, but days are usually sufficient.) PNF stretching, which I believe essentially means pushing against resistance, then relaxing, then pushing again helps a lot. In practice, PNF pussy play means (after a half-hour or more of light penetrative play to warm up, ideally orgasming a few times) the fistee squeezing hard around 3 or four fingers for a little longer than is comfortable or easy, then enjoying how much more flex there is when their squeezing relaxes. Enjoying rather than over-exploiting the increased flexibility is important, as is repeating the stretch/relax cycle quite a few times. For many people adding clitoral stimulation makes it more fun & more productive.

It's not a race, and the rewards happen along the way rather than at any one definitive point. Somebody has their fingers in somebody else = success. Don't get too hung up on counting fingers, measuring depth, or otherwise making anything but pleasure your goal.

If you're fisting, pay attention to leverage, angle, and what the bones of your hand are feeling. I've never had broken bones this way myself or seen it on a set, but I've certainly had a hand squeezed to the point that felt near breaking, and there are angles that could unwittingly bring all of the fistee's weight down on a wrist or otherwise do damage. Especially if there's thrashing about during orgasm, be careful not to get too lost in the awesomeness of the experience to stay conscious of safety and comfort.

After coming (if that happens) the person being fisted may want the fister's hand out as soon as possible, may want it withdrawn after a pause or may want it to stay in for another round. As a fister, don't assume, and don't rush the exit. The fister may need to break a suction seal (the fingers of another hand can help if they're clean, lubed and ready) or otherwise perform complex maneuvers to get their hand back. Be aware that the ramping up of endorphins and excitement during fisting that made anything seem possible may no longer be effective by the time a hand has to be retrieved. Increased sensitivity, exhaustion and a different pain tolerance may all contribute to a challenging exit- another reason that fisting's not generally an activity for quickies.

Once somebody's been fisted well on a few occasions they tend to lose the clamping-down reflex and just push or help stuff your hand in once they feel warmed up enough. That is incredibly different than becoming "loose". Tightness is also relative to arousal and the scale of what one is tightening around. Not a very exact science, that. :) I'm not at all a medical specialist, but my rough understanding of how complicated sets of muscles work is that as we develop the control of a muscle group we get better at relaxing *and* tightening. People I've played with and observed aren't by any means a representative group, but generally those who have developed the pushing and tightening of their vaginal area in a way that intensifies orgasms, squeezes dramatically at will, allows squirting, etc. are also the people who can relax enough to accommodate an entire hand. (A correlate of this muscle development may be an overall flexing of that entire area, which can push out anything that's waiting around. Personal experience suggests it might be a really good idea to have a bowel movement or a thorough enema prior to having deep orgasms around a hand. Just saying. )

It's definitely easier when either the person fisting or the person trying to be fisted has been there before, even better when both have. It's definitely more practical when nobody's in a rush, and it's definitely one of those situations where listening to spoken and physical messages is critical. Have you tried it on yourself? Not everybody's build or flexibility makes that possible or comfortable, but reaching around from behind appears to be easiest.

Lemme know how it goes?